duotiga2383_AFB

What is predestination?  In dictionary, it means "Theory or Belief that everything that happens has predetermined by God and that man cannot change it." 

I have been thinking about this word for the entire day since i got my result ard 1130am.  While completing the exam for the 2nd time, somehow subconsiously my mind got projected the "You have fail the exam"  computer image in my mind.  Been checking 2 more times yet go the same band.  My collegues said that because previously i fail so my mind subconsiously thought of that as miy final result.  But the thing is during the entire exam, i am not panicking & was hoping myself to pass.  I even told my junior boss yesterday that i have 80% chance of passing.  Even 1 of my collegue said i got religion & shld rely on it also.  But now, my mind & heart speaking is in entire opposite direction:  mind saying keep trying but heart is telling me straight into  my face that God has given me an ans already.  They also said to me not to give up, but for now i am giving my self chances rather than giving up.  I am also thinking right now is my motives of getting $$$ correct or not….indeed working is for God, but for now am i working for $$ or for God?

To us christain, we believe that God give us 3 kind of ans: Yes, No or Wait.  But from the way i see now, it doesn’t make sense for me to continue though my mind been telling me to keep forward.  Can you imagine spending almost entire mth learning for just 1 bk, taking 2 exams with the same results at the interval of 5 days?  Though i admit my china collegue took the test 11th time then pass but for me , i felt that i have done my best.

Been thinking the entire day what went wrong.  Even Boss ask me why i can’t really answer to him.  Lucky he didn’t scold me as i sensed that he sees my confusion in my head during their smoking break.  Maybe this line is not suitable for me.  I had my final chance most prob on this coming fri ( for me though i reported it to my small boss & he wanted to chat with me nxt wk when his back from ICT but i roughly knw what he will be asking me abt… ),  Have to see what’s God giving me the ans.

Do pray for me yea?  Thanks a million. 

Really confuse

Nw the feeling is really back to BMT where the "tekaning" session begins today.  Boss wants now each morning 10.30am meeting room have to announced what we have to set our goals each day.  His theory of "Goals must be specific & achievable". 

As for next coming exam is on nxt mon as this wk there is no other slot for it.  From the way i see, i have exactly another 5 more days to revise (today till sun) & the probability i pass , the worse case scenario is have to take another time & m5 have to DIE DIE pass 1x before i can go for coy AIMs ( means introducing the products).  If i dont pass, man i really need to knock myself on the wall.  I still cant accept why i fail by such a close range.  Fail is ok, but why such a close range????  Man this is really feeling miserable but in order to overcome it i must show that it will work for my mon exam. 

So in layman term ?: I have not much time else i will be way behind my collegues in terms of sales training.  From the way i see my Boss is training us, i feel that he has already start drilling us to have the mindset of presetting our goals each day in order to achieve it (habit) & at the same time calculating our own odds & probability.

Sianz…i feel like throwing my m9 bk….read until dont feellike reading it.  I wanna quickly pass the exams for both M5& HI so that i can start the sales training also!!!!!  Competition has already started. Now is how am i gonna achieve it.  Boss wants us to feel the achievement on the next gala to get the coy Star awards to be the top 15% of the coy. From the way he drilled us so bitterly for the starting of 1yr until we can see our results.  I have not @ the shaving head of BMT.  I am just @ PTP period.  "Shaving of head" starts when the sales training starts.  1 year to POP, must achieve it no matter what…..but most impt of all:  I still need God’s Guidance & do my part also.  I can’t be expecting $$$ to drop from the sky.  I need to do my part also.

Might be tough but the tough gets going….nw at least frm the way i see my exams i can roughly gauge my odds in order to go to the AIMs on 4th Jun ( min req pass M9 & M5).

Got to go seeya!

Haiz…..spend @ least 2 wks of learning & yesterday night of studying…..today morning paper for M9 i STILL can FAIL by 1 BAND -_-""" & when i came back to the office & refer back again, i found some of my CARELESS mistakes….just by a few marks i can easily pass….the nxt exam i MUST PASS no matter what, at least now i knw where i gone wrong now….

Today also have the opportunity to talk to 2 interviewees whom my boss interviewed & wanted us to have a small chat with them.  The 1st interviewee whom we chat got the same problem with me when i just step out of army: No idea what he wanted.  In layman term, No goals or dreams.  As for the 2nd interviewee, we all thought that property line is quite a "not bad" line but we never expected that his condition  now is even worse than ours which is quite surprise for me cos we all along heard that property lines can earn you big bucks.  This is reality, some things we done expect to be that way.  From the 2 interviewees, i see that from where i am now i must perservere & have the motivation to carry on even though the line is tough in the beginning of learning phase.  This line & my boss style is totally different from other managers.  He expect us to change & descipline to make a difference, moulding us a CAREER, not a dead monotonous ppl, but a man have a ability to make others think & as friend to those we do not knw. 

Why i say this?  Well 1 of my collegue had give me an appertiser of what expecting to come in my boss training & to make a stranger talk as if they are your friend, man that is SUPER TOUGH.  Countless times even through my collegue training conversation both of us can go mind blank as we dont knw how to procede next ( he got a same problem as me also which both of us found out) though we got the "SOP" there.  But even as an SOP, boss wld say that that wld only make us a MEDICORE agent, not a true & sincere agent.

A lot of things to pick up.  At least nw i knw where i gone wrong.  To change for the better, i must slowly get out of my comfort zone & prepare to take the challengers ahead no matter what outcome it is.  BE A MAN, DO THE RIGHT THING. lol

Anyway got side headache from all the study…got to take panadol & have some rest before i can continue the next battle. 

Cheers

Your friendly neighbourhood guy,

San Mao

And this time the tutor is the best!!!! Ms Julia Sim while explaining the Rules & Regulations of Module 5, highlight the important notes & told us which questions will come out in exam, making studying easier.

Nw i begin to start enjoying my line i am in.  As 1 of my collegue, Aleen whom just pass all the modules & is now training on how to sell the coy products, we got the oportunity to ask Boss some typical questions which client would usually asked & we are utter wordless by my bss answering the questions which we can’t deny the fact…almost anything can lead to answer to $$$$….Elites of the elites man…..The art of conversation where you can talk with anything and indirectly leads to your aim to convince your clients to get the product for his/her needs.

But today my faintingter lunch (duh -_-""").  SO in the end after work, i go and see my GP. My GP said that i might giving myself too many stress which most of my collegues keep asking me to relax abit….is time for me to learn it.  As for my finger, needs ard 3-6mths to cure as it is internal injury…man is so difficult to carry things thoough is not that painfull now….

tmr is the last day of module & thurs is the final module : Health Insurance.  Supposedly my exam is this week but is shifted to next week.  Mrooe time to study but need to pass no matter what….3 chances for all 3 modules before i can go to 4 days AIMS which is knowing coy products on 4th June.  Time is running out!!!!  Learn smart not just memory!!!

me haha…..today is my church friends’ Kok Wei & Karen wedding!!!! Yesterday night come to church for the preparation n today is the big day!!!!  Have to reach church @ 9am to do the final preparation.  As for my contribution, Kok Wei got a special programme during the buffet lunch that needs me n Cai help…

Everything went smoothly not forgetting the heartwarming special presentation which Kok wei sang n play guitar & the slides which he made specially for aren [So touching!!! ^^] n during the buffet lunch i manage to have a small chat with Songen in regards to career and financial policy which he took up.  Then when worse thing come….as i took Huiqing’s car and she drop me off @ Tanah Merah MRT station, due to my carelessness i accidentally hurt my right 2nd finger.  Sore and blue black & very painful, by the time i reached Tampines Station i fanted [duh -_-"] .  Lucky got some commuters and the staffs there able to help me and was wheelchair out….i am very gratefuull of them REALLY.  This is my 1st time collapsed in the public area…..i feel very paiseh…..maybe partly lunch i didnt eat much also…..

The wedding dinner is held @ Peony Jade Restaurant which is beside Liang Court.  As i took Huiqing’s car together with Kaiser & gang, we reached there very early.  In the end we went liang court for light snack @ mac ( for me this wk dunno why have sudden craving for Sundae)  & look for magazine @ Kino before went back to the restaurant.

The restaurant is small but the services is not bad so is the food which they give us a big portion.  Is a fun loving night and another nightmare come.  While heading back there is a huge jam towards the main road out of liang court.  Stuck for almost 30mins before we can actually have a smooth ride back.

Too late already, morning still have to go to church.  Seeya!

Today is last lesson on M9 whom the tutor gone thru us the mock paper & FAQ sessions…my buddy whom have a extremely good short term memory, drill me on the mistakes i made for my mock paper & reasoning with me why i wrong… bo pian i slow pickup learner…have to learn in a even harder way but since i have already took up this path i must make it happen no matter ppl keep mentioning to me that this line is tough…..Common sense on Risk is that Higher the Risk, your return will be higher…provided you want to accept this kind of risk….for now i am more or less accept what i have pick up & have to make my way thru…DISCIPLINE man!!! DECIPLINE!!! not to forget COMMITMENT also

During lunch, finally have a lunch session with our big boss…during it he explains to us the rational behind his motives of how he trained us & the tactics of how to pass the exam.  I learn from him is that though his style is quite different from other managers, he keep emphasising on future of what YOU want, rather than TODAY.  It maybe tough for today but for the future you have to earn it in a harder way to see your change & progression.  AS for me ihave to do even harder due to my character & thinking….

My buddy will be taking the exam tmr evening but i felt i am not confident to take the risk for tmr as i can GARANTEE i will FAIL BADLY…most prob is next fri as i got another tutorial on next mon-Tue.

Almost coming in a week in the new coy….more or less i have accepted my new "destiny", the only problem for now is that i can’t slack for this mth & later mths to go…must have the commitment & discipline!!!! Is all in the mind!!!!! (as what my big boss said once ppl can their mindset situation around you will be change)

Got to study smart & most important of all: ask God for guidance. I have to do my part, not just relying on God alone.

Seeya in my next blog!!!! ( which i am not very sure when i will be blogging again lol)

Today morning i fixed finished another kit: 1/100 Air Master Burst.

This kit is nicer than the predecessor, Air Master but due to the shoulder cannons booster, it have some stability problem.  Overall quite satisfied with the finishing though as usual need a lot of panelling & 1 thing i like is the missile rifle!!!!!

Today tutorial is a pain in the ass….the entire morning was all on calculation….mentally challenge though the question asked were pretty straightforward….by the time after lunch for the 2nd round of lesson ( lucky not another sets of calcuation), i felt mentally shagged…..maybe partly due to the weather?

This photo is taken at my office floor fire escape area aka smoking point.  Today is so hot….By the time after the today’s lesson, i dont feel the urge to continue study though mentally wanted to…..but is just too tired to continue….

Normally i would take the MRT back home but since my workplace area got direct bus back, i decided to take bus & on my way back, play my newly brought PSP & the game : Ace Combat X Skies of Deception

Got this aircraft but the mission played finally got some challengers that i need to replay for quite some time before i can move on to the next mission.

Anyway i feel tired…might be sleeping early? or should i?  urghhhh…this module made me go bonkers……..I MUST CLEARED ASAP!!!! ><

and shitz man….supposed to be in office @ 0920am & i was late by 3 mins -_-""" By the time going over to the training center with my collegue ( who was later than me -_- ) & boss , the course has already started by a few mins.  Lucky managed to catch up abit & smooth sailing for the rest of the duration.  The tutor is not bad, able to explain some terms in brief points & shows some examples.

During 1 of the breaks, man…. SG is really that SMALL….my buddy collegue whom going with course with me is my ex-army unit mate & i happened to see my financal advisor whom her office which is just beside mine!!! o.O lol …hada small chit chat cos i had only 15mins break haha….:P

Dont know is it me or what that something interesting happen which i notice during the course.  Seems like when i was being questioned by the tutor, she was the only 1 turing her head towards me & my bddy direction.  Even when my buddy went to washroom or fill water halfway during lesson she wld turn her head again…thinking too much? Crush? haha…i seriously not sure though i admit she look quite pretty….for now i just want my M9 module to pass as this module is the hardest 1 to pass…..^^

The worse thing happen after the lesson.  Boss said that if he did not come back @ 2000hr, we can go 1st but 1 of my collegue went off before his consent…lucky didnt went off earlier timing as expected…..Tmr got to see boss anger face ><

Anyway time to revise what i have learn today….seeya

San Mao

well is been quite sometime i have not touch my model kits & finally today morning completed 1:

The 1/100 Gundam Air Master.  This kit needs a lot fo panel markings as you can see the black lines.  Overall the kit is quite sturdy and the next i will be doing is the upgraded 1 of this; 1/100 Gundam Air Master Burst as both of the kits when i bought is "already open"

Today is also my 1st day @ my new job & i have already made some mistakes -_-"""" My big boss treated us newbies & the entire place is like back to BMT theme style….all of us are studying for the tests & my assoiciate is pretty new & non of us are senior except my boss & my big big boss.

Today  also 1st day staying , and thru the staying i can find my current collegues are much more weirder & more dysfunctional than the previous 1 lol.

Anyway got to study…got test in 2 weeks time…

San Mao

Peter Parker has finally managed to strike a balance between his devotion to M.J. and his duties as a superhero. But there is a storm brewing on the horizon. When his suit suddenly changes, turning jet-black and enhancing his powers, it transforms Peter as well, bringing out the dark, vengeful side of his personality that he is struggling to control. Under the influence of the suit, Peter becomes overconfident and starts to neglect the people who care for him most. Forced to choose between the seductive power of the new suit and the compassionate hero he used to be, Peter must overcome his personal demons as two of the most-feared villains yet, Sandman and Venom, gather unparalleled power and a thirst for retribution to threaten Peter and everyone he loves.
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This movie is pretty long: 2 hr 20 min. Lots of sad/crying scene into the state of which you can see Peter in a state of depression.  The entire theme for this movie is about life choices & forgiving oneself and others in a series of events that will impact others whom are close to you.Sometimes you wonder that the choices you made will benefit others or for yourself.  Not just that, you need some people’s help in your life as in this life you are walking are not alone.

There are some funny scenes & at  1 part of the movie you will see Peter whom you never see before.  As for guys, there are some tips on how to do the proposal also lol.

I would say this movie is more emotional than the previous 2 as you see the series of events impacting Aunt May, Peter Pater, MJ,Harry Osborne, Flint Marko & Eddie Brook of what Peter did to them subconciously unintentionaly when he was "possess" by the symboite suit.

Anyway this is the 1st review i wrote…hope to write is more often lol.