Deja Vu……
What is predestination? In dictionary, it means "Theory or Belief that everything that happens has predetermined by God and that man cannot change it."
I have been thinking about this word for the entire day since i got my result ard 1130am. While completing the exam for the 2nd time, somehow subconsiously my mind got projected the "You have fail the exam" computer image in my mind. Been checking 2 more times yet go the same band. My collegues said that because previously i fail so my mind subconsiously thought of that as miy final result. But the thing is during the entire exam, i am not panicking & was hoping myself to pass. I even told my junior boss yesterday that i have 80% chance of passing. Even 1 of my collegue said i got religion & shld rely on it also. But now, my mind & heart speaking is in entire opposite direction: mind saying keep trying but heart is telling me straight into my face that God has given me an ans already. They also said to me not to give up, but for now i am giving my self chances rather than giving up. I am also thinking right now is my motives of getting $$$ correct or not….indeed working is for God, but for now am i working for $$ or for God?
To us christain, we believe that God give us 3 kind of ans: Yes, No or Wait. But from the way i see now, it doesn’t make sense for me to continue though my mind been telling me to keep forward. Can you imagine spending almost entire mth learning for just 1 bk, taking 2 exams with the same results at the interval of 5 days? Though i admit my china collegue took the test 11th time then pass but for me , i felt that i have done my best.
Been thinking the entire day what went wrong. Even Boss ask me why i can’t really answer to him. Lucky he didn’t scold me as i sensed that he sees my confusion in my head during their smoking break. Maybe this line is not suitable for me. I had my final chance most prob on this coming fri ( for me though i reported it to my small boss & he wanted to chat with me nxt wk when his back from ICT but i roughly knw what he will be asking me abt… ), Have to see what’s God giving me the ans.
Do pray for me yea? Thanks a million.
Really confuse 
